Today, I got an email from a friend telling me I suck.

It’s okay, I sort of deserved it.  This particular friend and I have been very close in the past, but I am not the best at maintaining long distance relationships and she hasn’t gone out of her way too often either.  We’re busy people and nothing malicious is meant by it.  She was a bridesmaid at my wedding and for the time I was wedding planning we had a renewed strength that fizzled when the nuptials were over.  Contact has been weak, phone tag has been occasional.  Then today the email.  Woops.

Things have been exceedingly stressful for me lately.  This year, I went from having one prep (one course to prep for) to three.  I still teach the same number of classes (five a day), but with more variety.  It is slowly smothering me.  BUT!  It’s getting better.  I feel like I’m getting on top of things.

There was my mom.  Turns out she does have a broken rib and a nasty concussion (still can’t remember a bunch of things about that day).  She’s doing a lot better comparatively, but is not entirely back to her old self.  I didn’t talk or vent much about it after it happened until a few days ago when I had a total meltdown with an awesome friend and then a subsequent meltdown with my husband later that night.  I didn’t even notice I had been bottling up my stress.

And Sister Cookie.  Ooof.  Where to even begin?  I’ve been avoiding her.  If I think I have drama, forget it.  It’s nothing compared to her.  I don’t want to get into it now because it’s not really mine to broadcast to the internet but suffice it to say it involves insane [soon to be former] in-laws, four children, her job, and DHS.  Yuck.  I feel guilty because I want to do more and feel obligated to do more, but haven’t.  So, I’ve gotten terrible about calling.  I tried the other day, she didn’t answer, I left a message, I haven’t tried again.  But we’re going up there this weekend.  I need to be a better sister.

I don’t know where this inability to cope is coming from, but I am finally starting to acknowledge the need to talk to someone.  I’m not depressed, but I need to talk.  And it needs to be someone objective.

Also, to my wonderful husband and great friend who both heard me out and gave me the love and (somewhat soggy) hugs I needed, you’re the best.  And you definitely don’t suck,  even when, exceedingly rarely often, I might.


1 Response so far »

  1. 1

    MrCookie said,

    Love you too, honey. 🙂

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