Identity Crisis

When Mr. Cookie and I started dating, we both had very clear hobbies that we each excelled at with little overlap.  We complemented each other nicely.  I was the one who cooked (and it is quite possibly the way I won him over).  He was the one who excelled academically and could debate you under a table.  He stimulated me mentally.  I stimulated him through gustatory means.  I was the one who enjoyed theatre.  He enjoyed sports.

Over the years, our interests have become more shared, which is nice in many ways and frustrating in some.  We’ve still had our divergent interests and strengths though.  However, in the last few months, I feel that things I used to excel at, my special unique talents, Mr. Cookie has been vastly improving at while I stand still.  He loves to cook now and, quite frankly, the things I am best at cooking no longer figure in to the diet that we’ve set out for ourselves.  I don’t really do theatre so much any more.  I’ve joined him intermittently in the sports thing, but I’m never going to be as fast, strong, or dedicated as he is.

So basically, I’m feeling like the things I bring to the marriage as part of my identity are no longer important or as needed (except for maybe laundry skills, but who wants THAT to be their “talent”?).  I feel completely immature feeling that way, but I need to find something new, something that is uniquely mine to excel at.  Thoughts?


2 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    PBB said,

    Do you still wish you did theater? I thought that was such a great thing to be a part of. Between that and your cake exploits, you’re clearly a creative person – is there some artistic, crafty, or hands-on thing you’ve always wanted to try?

    On a slightly related note, I think I’m going to do this one-time Shakespeare thing if there’s still room – I could use a friend:

    • 2

      showmeyourcookies said,

      Some parts of me do wish I was more involved with theatre. But, I’ve given it a little bit of a go and it wasn’t as exciting at I remember it being (that may be partially because I wasn’t doing what I used to love to do). Sometimes I see myself buying a sewing machine and trying my hand at making stuff, but that’s not super useful and sewing machines hate me (just ask my 8th grade home ec teacher). I would LOVE to join you for that workshop (even if I usually shy away from acting).

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