Tightly Wound

I’m jittery.

I told a kid to get out of my face today.

In my defense (and believe me, I’m taking my side on this), he deserved it.  I’d booted him last period for

1) doing no work

2) not getting his stuff (binder, pencil) out

3) partially getting his stuff out, but only and inch from his bag and then only to say “see, I have it” before shoving it back in

4) interrupting me every two seconds to try to rat out someone else for doing something they weren’t doing

5) making faces at kids when he thought I wasn’t looking

6) saying “whatever” under his breath as I walked away after telling him to “start doing some work NOW!”

This is the kid who tells the guidance counselors he suffers from anxiety and the other kids pick on him.  This is the kid who will purposefully break his pencil by pressing down as hard as he can just so he has an excuse to make a leisurely, chatty trip to the pencil sharpener.  This is the kid has abused his mother.

This kid did a fist pump and shouted “yes!” when I told him to go to the office.

I’m usually very long on patience and sympathy.  I’m usually very good at giving kids the benefit of the doubt and seeing things from their point of view. I’ve bent over backwards trying to help him get caught up on his work (that he missed when he was out for two months because he wasn’t over the anxiety of his grandfather dying three years ago). I’ve been very patient with him when other teachers have booted him immediately.  I’ve taken him into my homeroom when his homeroom teacher told him to leave and gave him a place.  As evidenced by the list above, I go through a lot more redirection and I give a lot more chances to this guy than I would ever give to someone else.  Because I want him to succeed.

So today, when he came back to my room after school and accessorized his apology with rolled eyes, snickering, and giggles, I told him to get out of my face.  I told him that his apology was bogus.  I told him it was insulting how much had been done for him and how little he appreciated it.  I told him I don’t ever want to hear an apology from him again unless he truly means it and realizes just how much he upset me.

I got personal.

And for once, I’m totally okay with that.

In other news, I’m in a great mood today!  “Why,” you may ask.  Because my nails are a lovely shade of red.  Because my haircut is awesome.  Because tomorrow we’re going to Alaska.  Because my husband promised to make me dinner tonight.  Because A helped me pick out some seriously awesome new sunglasses yesterday.  And because she also just invited me to do the Cape Cod Relay with her team and I’m so excited to have a goal again.  Kick butt!

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