Almost there

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the culture of weight loss and dieting.  How can I help it, with how immersed in it I’ve been?  The good news is, that after an early weigh in today I’m back on track.  In fact, given a couple more pounds, I will no longer be considered overweight.  That’s a pretty good feeling.  Your support and encouragement have really helped me along.  In an effort to push ourselves through this final stretch, Mr. Cookie and I came up with the idea to track our progress on a big ole whiteboard we’re keeping in our kitchen.  Not just our weight, but our body fat percentage, hydration levels, waist and thigh sizes.  I realize this seems extreme.  But we need extreme.

Both of us came from families where food was a form of comfort, not just sustenance.  Not to knock our parents or anything, because they did too many other things really wonderfully that we absolutely want to emulate.  But, that’s not how we want to raise our kids.  We want them to eat to live, not to eat emotionally.  This is something that Mr. Cookie and I both struggle with.  Having a bad day?  Let’s order some wings and a pint of ice cream!  I’m not saying that food isn’t love.  It is.  But there’s a difference between preparing a wonderful meal for loved ones and digging your way to the bottom of the Ben & Jerry’s in one sitting because your day wasn’t perfect.  We do too much of the latter.  And we’re out to change our habits.  Teach through example, right?

I am so lucky to have people who support me.  I know that in the past, Mr. Cookie and I have unintentionally sabotaged each other time and time again.  Whether it be baking that batch of brownies because someone had a bad day, ordering up two half moons from the Italian bakery down the street, or even just saying “I don’t know why you want to lose more weight.  You look great,” we’ve both done it.  You need support in such a mighty endeavor.

Women especially, I find, are quick to sooth each other by telling them what they want to hear.  Often, this is more detrimental than helpful.  Think about it.  If I was a smoker and was really struggling with quitting, was really having a hard time and was doubting myself, how helpful would it be if my girlfriend said “oh, you know, smoking is not that bad.  My grandpa smoked until the day he died at the ripe old age of 87”?  Because that is, essentially, what many of us are saying to our friends and loved ones who are trying to get in shape.  Guess what!  It is possible to be on a diet and be happy.  It is possible to be thin and healthy and happy as well.  And yeah, sometimes I have a low moment because things aren’t working out how they ought to.  But way more often than not, I’m optimistic and excited.

I want desperately to be a mom.  But I’m not just going to go out tomorrow and throw my legs up in the air.  Mr. Cookie and I know that you can’t plan perfectly.  Heck, it could take us months to get pregnant.  Or, magically, my birth control could stop working and we could get pregnant when we’re not expecting it.  And we’d be okay with either of those scenarios.  BUT we want to be in a healthy place emotionally and physically because we all know how hard it is to postpone  your fitness goals for after a baby comes along.  They take up a lot of time and I’ve known too many women who really struggled to lose weight after giving birth.  I want to be in a good place before my pregnancy so it’s easier to rebound after.  We also want to embody good, strong habits so we pass those on to our kids.  Not to mention, you know, the fact that if Mr. Cookie gets a new job elsewhere next year and I’m stuck here finishing our my contract with my school system, we could be apart for an entire school year.

And the last thing I’m going to say is this.  Diabetes, blood pressure, and cholesterol are all problems in our families.  Yes, we’re young.  Yes, all of those numbers look great for us right now.  But pregnancy does strange things to many women.  Heck, they’re even linking being overweight to PCOS (a syndrome where your ovaries frequently develop cysts that make it hard to conceive- guys, I’ve only got one ovary left!).  I realize that I can prepare all I want and there’s still a chance I could wind up with pre-eclampsia or gestational diabetes.  I get that.  But I like odds.  And I know the odds are lower if I’m in the best shape possible from the start.

Can I get an “amen?”


3 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    J9 said,

    I support your efforts to be healthy! However, I can’t help but feel that your last blog was referring to my previous comment. Having many more years of experience has given me a bit of a different outlook on things. I have learned that being “extreme” about anything isn’t necessarily “healthy.” I will restrain from adding my two cents in the future.

  2. 2

    PBB said,

    Oh, restraint from commenting is no fun! I think the concern from your fans isn’t that it’s bad to want to be in good shape, but that there seemed to be an undercurrent in that you had to hit a very specific amount of weight loss before you would start trying to have kids, and you seemed really stressed and down about it in that post. And given that your ass is not particularly fat (and that is not just ‘what you want to hear’), J9 and I wanted to say something positive.

    That’s all. Sounds like you are doing well and I hope you guys come up with a system you can maintain in the long term.

  3. 3

    Mrs. Cookie said,

    Thanks, ladies. I guess I could have been more clear in my previous post and in this one. The main reason we are postponing having kids is not completely because of being out of shape (although that does play a part). What I was trying to say in that post was simply that, due to events out of our control (Mr. Cookie’s job situation being questionable namely), we will probably postpone having kids and because of that, I’m having a harder time motivating myself to get fit. I know that by no stretch am I obese and I also know that I would likely be able to maintain a very healthy pregnancy at my current level of fitness. It is more than that though. We want to pass on healthy habits to our kids and in order to do that we believe we need to maintain those good habits ourselves. I thank you both for your support and love. This response was not directed at any one person or comment. It was a venting about a lot of things and situations in general. I’d had a frustrating week and just needed to hear that people were behind me. I know I have the support of you both and of many people. For that, you have my thanks and love.

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